Home > Uncategorized > Toys that suck big time…models that don’t

Toys that suck big time…models that don’t

Most fitness toys/ gadgets/ things in this world are completely worthless. Some of them are so bad I’m convinced that if you purchase one you are entered into a highly secretive international database so the ICPPMA (International Crap Product Makers Association) can target you as the primary audience and consumer of all things shit and shit related.

Here are some of my favorite dumbass ideas:

Shake Weight:

Ab electrode- burn your stomach- things:

Years ago at Towson I was sitting outside eating lunch when I heard a girl walking by say to her group of friends. “That ab thing burned my stomach. It looks like I have pepperoni’s on me”. Keep in mind that this was said in her uniquely Long Island accent, which added to the dramatic effect at least 100 fold.

That 2 second, totally by chance, happening totally made me a life long fan of the ab-electrode things.

Granted those are good but this is my ALL-TIME favorite.

 Osmi iGallop:

You see it’s,…..ah…… umm, like well, riding….a……umm….a horse, you know…..right? Right? Like riding a horse.


What the hell is that? Who does this?  

I don’t know who would invest in this.

Unless, I ran the Victorias Secret corporate gym. Then, of course, it’s a no brainer….In my expert opinion its obvious Marissa Miller could benefit from the faux horse riding simulator, or should I say “stimulator” to help get in shape for the big Victorias Secret Christmas Fashion show.


Body by fake horse riding thingy, not genetics, endless working out and a total lack of eating …………..obviously.

Just look at how happy they are, Hedi Klum is all like, “I have a tiara on my head, I love making making babies with Seal..and I love the Osmi iGallop”.

 I love the Osmi iGallop too Hedi, I love it too….

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. October 4, 2010 at 8:41 pm

    I love your thoughts on the stupid shit they come up with for lazy ass people who want a quick fat fix while sittin on their duffs eatin a snickers. I am new to the fitness training world and I am starting out at the YWCA in Green Bay Wisconsin and the things people do to cut corners just burns me. I bust my butt to plan these circuit stations and all these people do is sloppy crap to make it easier on themselves. If I hafta beller “C’mooo-on people if it’s easy it’s not working!” one more time I’m gonna snap. Or how bout the ones that say I was so sore I layed in bed for 3 days now I’m finally feeling better maybe your class isn’t for me.

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