Archive for October, 2009

Toys that dont suck…..and knees over toes

October 28, 2009 Leave a comment

Just because 9 out of every 10 fitness gadgets are ICPMA (International Crap Product Makers Association) of approved that doesn’t mean they all are. Here are some me likes a lot.

Blast Straps: They best investment ever…

These make bodyweight movements much more scalable. They can be adjusted to add difficulty or even stability on literally hundreds of movements and variations. Yes, you can use a TRX or rings or whatever, but I have these and use them almost every workout.


Cant do a pull-up? ….The assisted pull up machine isn’t the answer, it doesn’t teach you how to control your body through the range of not swing back and forth…bands solve that problem.

btw: if you use 2 green bands, like the girl above, you suck, seriously, your pathetically weak.

Cheap like blast straps, bands, make everything more scalable. Spend the money though and get Jumpstretch or EFS bands. They are multilayered and will last longer than the cheaper single layered bands.

The Manta Ray:

News flash, unless you really like working out you do not like to squat.

For most people it’s not the movement that they hate, it’s the bar. When done properly the bar sits on the upper back in a nice little ridge and it’s not that bad once you get used to it…..thats the thing once you get used to it” . I don’t have time for people to get used to it, so I use the Manta Ray. It makes the bar 100x’s more comfortable for a beginning lifter which will decrease the chances of them killing themselves by doing something stupid while training by a factor of at least 10.

Occasionally, I use the Manta Ray for myself also. It does offer a higher bar placement which will overload the quads and lower back to a greater degree than the traditional back squat which, because of the lower bar placement, tends to hit the hips and hamstrings harder. Plus, it forces your chest up. This bad boy becomes very uncomfortable if you lean forward while using it, for this alone it can be a huge technique/ teaching tool.

Tip o’ the day: Stop worrying about knees over toes. It’s complete Broscience, it’s stupid and if someone says it to you they probably don’t know why nor what they are talking about. Keep your heels down and initiate all movement from the hips, not the knees.

Take it from REAL science: Effect of Knee Position on Hip and Knee Torques during the Barbell Squat

Your knees travel over your toes all day (walking, going up stairs)…and nothing bad happens. It’s where the hips are what’s important. If the hips create the movement, if your butt and hamstrings are doing the work, it won’t matter much if your knees go a little over your toes, unless of course your built like Manute Bol.


Yeah, those knees? Going over the toes….

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Toys that suck big time…models that don’t

October 27, 2009 1 comment

Most fitness toys/ gadgets/ things in this world are completely worthless. Some of them are so bad I’m convinced that if you purchase one you are entered into a highly secretive international database so the ICPPMA (International Crap Product Makers Association) can target you as the primary audience and consumer of all things shit and shit related.

Here are some of my favorite dumbass ideas:

Shake Weight:

Ab electrode- burn your stomach- things:

Years ago at Towson I was sitting outside eating lunch when I heard a girl walking by say to her group of friends. “That ab thing burned my stomach. It looks like I have pepperoni’s on me”. Keep in mind that this was said in her uniquely Long Island accent, which added to the dramatic effect at least 100 fold.

That 2 second, totally by chance, happening totally made me a life long fan of the ab-electrode things.

Granted those are good but this is my ALL-TIME favorite.

 Osmi iGallop:

You see it’s,…..ah…… umm, like well, riding….a……umm….a horse, you know…..right? Right? Like riding a horse.


What the hell is that? Who does this?  

I don’t know who would invest in this.

Unless, I ran the Victorias Secret corporate gym. Then, of course, it’s a no brainer….In my expert opinion its obvious Marissa Miller could benefit from the faux horse riding simulator, or should I say “stimulator” to help get in shape for the big Victorias Secret Christmas Fashion show.


Body by fake horse riding thingy, not genetics, endless working out and a total lack of eating …………..obviously.

Just look at how happy they are, Hedi Klum is all like, “I have a tiara on my head, I love making making babies with Seal..and I love the Osmi iGallop”.

 I love the Osmi iGallop too Hedi, I love it too….

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Friday….I hate (yes HATE) Crossfit Football and other stuff.

October 23, 2009 1 comment


First off it’s Friday and that’s a good thing.

Second, I can’t stand the term “sport specific” but what I can’t stand more is a complete lack of regard for appropriate training methodologies when training an athlete for specific competition. Which is why I can’t stand Crossfit Football.

Quite frankly Crossfit Football, as a training system with the specific goal of training an American football athlete, is a joke.

Why, you ask?

  • Football is played by position. With each position having varying bioenergetic demands. For example: the typical play last 4-6 seconds. A lineman is engaged in what is basically a close quarters fight  the entire time, while a receiver is running a sprint the entire time.

How are these bioenergetic and biodynamic regimes the same?

  • There is a complete lack fo regard for timing of training means and recovery form those means. For example: most of the workouts have multiple gassers, thats an all out 100yrd sprint, typically separated with indiscriminate rest periods.

How many football players runs for 100yrds on a play?  

  • They use traditional olympic lifts during the season. I don’t care what your thoughts are on olympic lifting and whether it’s useful or not, but there is no way to justify having a “professional” athlete (I’m guessing this means NFL) perform something like a clean or a snatch. Find me one player on an NFL team who’s wrists and shoulders feel good after a month of training camp, 4 preseason games and 6 weeks of the regular season.

I don’t know if the Crossfit Football guys are NFL strength coaches but I do know Buddy Morris was (browns) and now he’s back at Pitt training football players and if the current results are any indication, doing a damn good job of it. Buddy, among many other very successful coaches, doesnt see the validity of it: (Not all that safe for work if you know what I mean.)


 The ultimate problem with Crossfit Football is that it just “gets you in shape” to play football. That doesnt mean anything, it has no context. James Smith, Buddy’s assistant has put it best, “Getting in shape for football is a very simplistic way of describing a very complex thing“.

Although I have a  lot of problems with Crossfit, in a lot of ways I think Crossfit is great, it’s opened a lot of people up to actually training and working hard and shunning the treadmills, ellipticals and weight machines. This however is a sham, Crossfit should stay out of the sport training realm, it has nothing to do with sport training. BTW, it’s NOT GPP for most sports.

One of the things I do like about Crossfit is the group training aspect, no doubt about it, training with a group will absolutely make you better. Click me

Tip O’ the day: If you’re trying to lose weight don’t drink regular sodas. One a day can lead to a 16lbs weight increase or loss in a year.

Friday moment of zen: watch this video it’s strange but awesome.

Categories: Uncategorized

Micellaneous Monday (on Tuesday)

October 20, 2009 Leave a comment


Walking on the treadmill is ok, but kinda sucks.

Walking on the treadmill HOLDING ON is stupid. Just plain stupid and if do this  you are also stupid. Seriously, why would you hold on? what benefit does that give you?


it makes it EASIER and DEFEATS the purpose. Have half a brain and slow the damn thing down.

I guess this is like a drug people need help to get off of because here’s an article about,”How to quit Holding on to the Treadmill“…a whole article. I can summarize in two words…


Mike Boyle (the goofy looking guy below) is really smart.

He’s been around forever and is always very insightful when it comes to training athletes and regular clients. Plus, despite being the head strength coach for Boston University Hockey (who have won 2  NCAA championships while he’s been there) he realizes the secret, “they usually always have the best players”, but under his guidance they don’t get outworked nor do they get injured two attributes directly related to the S&C program.

He’s releasing Functional Strength Coach 3 today and I think I’m buying it, hopefully it’ll be here by the weekend and I can be super nerd for a couple days. I’ll report back next week.


I’m getting really tired of the Biggest Loser. I saw a screen shot the other day, and now I cant find it, of one of the contestants doing a box jump. I’m not going to explain why this is completely unnecessary for someone who is grossly overweight, you can figure it out for yourself:



This is the funniest video I’ve seen in a long time. Its not SFW (safe for work) but it’s hilarious. If you lift weights, for any reason you MUST watch this…..


Training tip of the day: Grip the weight, don’t just sit it in your hands. Just sitting the weight in your hands will tear off calluses and make it more difficult to hold onto the bar. If you grip the bar, it can’t move, if it cant move, calluses caused by friction, cant form.

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Blog Neglect, Stupid people and Flu Vaccines…

October 15, 2009 Leave a comment

It’s already Thursday and I haven’t written jack all week…hopefully I get something done tomorrow too, but lets not get ahead of ourselves.

Why you should hire me: “Supervised Strength Training Is More Effective, Swedish Study Finds”

Basically, hire an expert and you’ll get 50% more out of your training. Keep in mind this was done in Sweden, where they use that crazy thing called “science” to formulate programs and the experts actually are trained in the field and kept up to date on advancements.

You know, in most other countries  you must have a degree based in sport science to train people, not just athletes but anyone…here you need $99 and a computer….that was a joke (kind of) until I did a quick search and found this. $50, are you kidding me fifty bucks….News flash to people in the fitness business: If you think this is, in any way, acceptable  please follow the directions on the sign below:

I wonder why it’s so difficult for people to value us and take what we do seriously?

Those who have asked know that I’m not getting a flu shot of any kind, not even the piggy version. I just dont see the evidence for their validity, seems like a lot of people saying ,”Flu shots work…. just because they do”. Any way, I read this yesterday and it does make you think:

Just so you know, if I end up like this I take full responsibility:

Swine FLu Face

 BTW: my roommate HAD H1N1. He’s fine and I never got sick at all…just saying.

Thursday moment of zen:

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Fun time Friday….

October 9, 2009 Leave a comment
Welcome to Friday
Dumbbell swings- Much like brussel sprouts, everyone hates them, but they work. Here’s a big I told you so Proof . Maybe the best “conditioning”/ fat loss tool out there…and probably the simplest (and most brutal).


Grip work- I just sat and thought long and hard, ok maybe not hard, about grip strength and how important it is. Basically, if you can grip something harder you protect yourself from injury because the rotator cuff muscles fire in synchronization stabilizing the shoulder. Gripping harder also activates the upper back musculature on moves like rows and deadlifts protecting the lower back, plus gripping the weight makes you stronger overall. The more I hear Gray Cook talk about this the more important I think it is. Looks like a couple clients are going to be doing a lot more grip work in the future.

 The Thinker thinks
 The Thinker thinking, but probably not about grip training.
Exercise I hate the most- The triceps dip off a bench.
Bad, stupid group exercise move, bad...
  Bad, stupid group exercise move, bad…


First off, it’s incredibly uncomfortable and if you ask most people will tell you that it feels like their arm is being torn out of the joint(BIG hint there). The Humerus (upper arm bone) doesnt really like moving to the posterior. Why? Think scapula (cause its in the way), plus the top of the humerus and the acromion would rather not meet on a regular basis.   

Just to make it clear, regular old school parallell bar dips are good to go, if they don’t cause pain, becasue they give a little bit more freedom in the exercise execution but in a lot of people they do.

Friday moment, actually one minute eleven seconds, of fitness stupidity:





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Now Read This….

October 7, 2009 Leave a comment

If you want your kid to be a bad athlete when they actually might get payed to play have them specialize in a sport early. Without a doubt the dumbest thing you can do, except maybe this. Love me some Bosu goodness.

Their genetics play the biggest role in making a living at professional sports, not how much of your bank account was wasted on “sport specific” training for a 9 year old. Wrote about it here too

Here is what we should do LTAD

Rhetorical question of the day: Why do people (most of which have never actually played anything beyond highschool) comment on your favorite sports team like you play for them? or like it actually matters? 

News flash. IT DOESN’T….you nor I play professional sports. I don’t know why the head coach did what he did, I don’t know why the GM did what he did and why they give player X $10 million and player Y $3.65210 million I have no clue. I’m not the owner, it’s not my money…I DONT KNOW, I don’t work there, I only watch the games and hope they win. ……That’s as far as it goes….

More Bosu goodness. OMG! My thoughts on the preceding can only be described by the picture below.

Please wait:  Kitty is processing your stupid.

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